Well...It's that Time of Year Again...

...to be bitterly and utterly disappointed by my frenemy,  Bravo TV's Top Chef.  For the past two years, the judges have literally picked the person voted Least Likely to Succeed as the ultimate champion and it makes me want to lapse into my awkward teens and cry.  At the announcement of the bucktooth mongoloid that they pick, tears well up and I have to learn to control myself again.

After having some sort of severe brain lapse, I forgot that the show was on until last week, but thankfully Bravo aired the first two together so I didn't have to miss a moment.  Which is good because I know so many people, including my sister, who now refuses to watch after that little D-Bag Michael Voltaggio won and now I'll have to be the lone reporter to my friends who were so bitterly disappointed that they have now given up on a world bathed in fairness.

The contenders for Season 7 don't seem as strong as last year, but that could be editing right now.  And, luckily for all of us, there was a WHOLE LOT of narking on people during Judge's Table.  It was totally uncomfortable and hilarious!  Oh!  And can I just say, Padma's boobs are OUT OF CONTROL!  Holy crap!  She's just had a baby and they're like all in our faces...they were pretty distracting...even to a girl.  As the contest goes on I'll have more in depth analysis of who should win, who I hate and who I have to scream at into the TV just like he/she can hear every word.

I will comment on this one idiot girl though...Amanda Baumgarten.  Jeezus, if whining about only being a sous chef and other chefs doubting her talents was an Olympic sport, Amanda would probably come home with at least a busted lip.  She is already grating my nerves with her comments like, "He picked me because he didn't think I'd be competition.  He was so wrong!"  And her pouting, doe-eyed looks to the camera.  She took the cake, however, for being the girl most likely to Embarrass Herself on National TV by Doing Something so Ridiculous It was Hilarious when she decided a good entre to serve to a bunch of Elementary School Kids would be sherry braised chicken thighs.  Sherry. Braised.  Now I'm no mother or anything, but I assume you want your kids to cut back on the liquor during school hours?  Can I get a shout out from all the mothers?

Oh...and her chicken looked like this: 

Gross.

Alas.

To celebrate the return of Top Chef I prepared an easy but impressive appearing meal that is sure to deceptively amaze its recipients.  Tikka Masala Bay Scallop sand Potatoes with a Cucumber Yogurt Sauce!

Umm... Does everyone have one of these?  You should.  You should buy one now.  Rice cookers are like God's little domestic service people.  It makes perfect rice EVERY.  TIME.  

Cut up and core a cucumber.  I only used about a 1/4 of this giant cucumber.  

Mince some chives and cilantro.

Mix the cucumber and herbs with one of those little cups of plain yogurt.  I don't know how much that is.  Like a serving size thingy.  

Mix it all together!  You can add some salt and pepper to taste but, remember, that the Tikka sauce is part of the meal and this yogurt sauce is supposed to be cool and refreshing.

This is the brand I used.  Although its curry its really not too strong...and I am a huge pansy.  

You could also make this stuff from scratch, but, this tastes delish.

Cut all the potatoes evenly and fry them up.  

Dry your bay scallops on a paper towel to get a little sear going when you put them in the pan.

They're becoming friends...still a little hesitant.  

Like an 8th grade school dance.

That rice is ready!!  See how perfect?  Told ya!

Now they're having a threesome with the Tikka sauce.  

My, they grow up so fast.

Combine et voila!  I threw some flat bread in the toaster oven for a few 

minutes and it was a perfect accompaniment.  

Now let's see those Top Chefs make some great food and piss me off!  Woo!